


Heart Eyes, Motherf-

by griffle



Series: Listen, I can explain [9]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: ANYWAY LOOK GUYS IM EARLY, Alexander Hamilton Being an Asshole, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Chatting & Messaging, Confrontation, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Cussing, Humor, Improper use of Medicine, Look it's mentioned once I just want to let y'all know, Motorcycles, Multi, Other, Some angst, Some vague mentions of panic attacks, Swearing, Texting, Valentine's Day, college fic, did not know that, like super vague, text fic, wow that's a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22294585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/griffle/pseuds/griffle
Summary: AB: AreAB: Are you asking Thomas to crash our Valentine’s Day plans?JM: Both of us, Burr.----In which Valentine’s Days plans are made
Relationships: Aaron Burr & Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr & Thomas Jefferson & James Madison, Aaron Burr/Theodosia Prevost Burr, Alexander Hamilton & John Laurens & Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette & Hercules Mulligan, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Thomas Jefferson/James Madison
Series: Listen, I can explain [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1007724
Comments: 4
Kudos: 71





	Heart Eyes, Motherf-

**Author's Note:**

> JM: James Madison  
> AB: Aaron Burr  
> GL: Lafayette  
> TJ: Thomas Jefferson  
> AH: Alexander Hamilton  
> JL: John Laurens  
> HM: Hercules Mulligan  
> ES: Eliza Schyluer  
> TB: Theodosia Bartlow  
> \----  
> The working title was “You know, like Nya” and I’m so grateful I found something better. 
> 
> \----

AH: So how are you feeling after that test?

AB: Honestly I feel fine, you?

AH: Oh yeah, same. 

AH: I was wondering though if you knew who was sobbing

AB: I think it was Sandbach

AH: That would make sense. He keeps bragging about his father’s trading company and how he’s going to inherit it

AB: Really, he just needs to drop out and go into business. I found his crying particularly annoying.

AH: Preach. 

AH: SO

AH: Valentine’s Day Plans: y/n?

AB: No comment

AH: C’mon Burr, Open up a little. Let me inside your miiiind

AB: Don’t you have an essay to write, or paper to argue, or work on your thesis? 

AH: Oh I’m on the fifth revision for that

AB: Why am I’m not surprised. 

AH: So c’mon: what’s your plans for the Big Heart Day?

AB: I can see you’re in better spirits. What’s your plan now that you’re coherent enough to bother me?

AH: Ha ha. I am laughing so hard

AH: If you’re really interested, I have made plans for us to go to that new restaurant that just opened up, then a trip to the aquarium in which we’re going to see the sea turtles, then for dinner we’re going to another favorite place, and ending the day with a poetry reading at Eliza’s favorite coffee shop and a walk around the park. I saved up enough and even got some extra overtime money for this. 

AH: What about you? 

AB: Oh, I made plans at Nan’s and afterwards, see a nature documentary that she's been wanting to see. I rented it out from the library. Simple, quiet, and nice. 

AH: What a surprise

AB: What's that supposed to mean?

AH: I mean how unsurprising you chose that restaurant. And the documentary, but I like documentaries so ignore that. It's about the restaurant. 

AB: So? It's a restaurant we both like to go to? We've been there before multiple times and had great times every single time.

AB: Didn't mean to keep writing time, but my point stands.

AH: I mean, maybe you could try a different restaurant, or like, cook for her? 

AB: Why would I want to change my plans? 

AH: To show some...color?

AB: Alexander, I'm black and Theo is proudly mixed. Plus, Theo chose this nice shirt for me, so I'm actually wearing a nice mint green . 

AH: Oh don't be obtuse.

AH: I'm trying to say that you need to be more spontaneous or else. 

AB: Or else what? 

AB: What, you're going to murder me? 

AH: Listen

AH: Theo has like, four different ear piercings, is a vegan, and cooks like, her own gourmet food. She’s fluent in several different languages, dyes her hair awesome colors, and I know she started at least three different trends on campus. Her mom is like this amazing baby doctor and and her dad works as an attorney for a LGBTQ youth shelter. She grows her own herbs and helps out at the campus garden. She’s planning on working on helping with blazing the way in LGBTQ Health and you just want to be a corporate lawyer. She’s like this amazing badass nature goddess and you’re just. 

AH: You. 

AB: Being a corporate lawyer is not a bad career choice.

AH: Dude, you had the same haircut, the same clothes, the same type of pencils since I met you freshman year in undergrad. You have chosen the same breakfast every day. Your outfits are organized by day of the week. You eat at the same restaurants, go to the same places, you just. 

AH: You’re so boring. Why on earth is Theo dating you?

AB: Maybe because there’s more to me than what you know, Alexander

AH: Lol

AH: Wait you’re serious?

AH: You’re fucking with me

AB: No, I’m not

AH: Boi

AH: You’re terrified of needles

AH: You think Mother Clap is “too dive-y”

AB: Flo and Barry once got thrown out for starting a riot!

AH: That’s not the point!

AB: What the fuck is your point!

AH: You eat plain yogurt!

AB: Oh, so we’re going onto eating habits now

AH: You can’t eat anything with spice because your eyes start watering!!!

AB: At least I eat and don’t make my partners worry

AH: You can’t even eat fucking White Boy Hot Sauce!!!!!

AB: A lot of people can’t handle spice!

AH: You’re BLack

AB: What’s your point?

AH: You cant eat HoT Sauce

AB: It’s too much heat!

AH: or SPICED MEATS

AB: So??

AH: YOU EAT MOZZERELLA GRILLED CHEESE

AH: BECAUSE OTHER CHEESE HAVE ‘TOO MUCH FLAVOR’

AB: I STAND BY THAT

AH: YOURE NOT FCUKING WHITE

AB: WHAT THE FUCK THAT MEAN

AH: IT MEANS FUCK OFF YOU BASIC BOY

AB: I AM NOT BASIC

AH: YOURE BASIC AS SHTY. IDK WTF YOU THINK YOU ARE BUT YOU ARE THE MSOT BASIC OF BASIC OF BASIC OF BASIC BOYFRIENDS. FCUKING FRAT BOYS THAT DRINK NATTY LIGHT ARE MORE ORIGINAL THAN YOU AND I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THEO EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT DATNIG YOU

AB: FUCK YOU AND 

AB: You know what?

AB: You can fuck off and go die on a roof, Hamilton

AH: Oh cute, bringing out the last names

[Error 30004 -- Message Delivery -- Message Blocked]

AH: The fuck?

[Error 30004 -- Message Delivery -- Message Blocked]

AH: Are you fucking serious?

[Error 30004 -- Message Delivery -- Message Blocked]

* * *

AH: AARON FUCKING BLOCKED ME

GL: You sound like a 80’s sitcom

HM: What?

GL: You know “Derek Dumped me!” thing?

JL: Was that a thing?

GL: I mean, maybe 

HM: So this is the 10’s version?

JL: Sounds like a nickname tbh

HM: Aaron "fucking blocked me" Burr

GL: Hot. I'd hit that 

JL: Best rapper this side of the Mississippi. 

AH: Guys focus.

AH: Aaron. Blocked Me.

AH: Me

JL: Shock

GL: Le gasp

HM: Oh my god

AH: Why aren't you all surprised.

JL: Honestly it was coming

GL: That poor boy has been through a lot

HM: And that’s without adding the fact that he hangs out with Thomas and James Madison regularly. 

JL: Honestly it amazing it didn't happen sooner 

GL: What on Earth did you do? 

AH: Why are you acting like it’s MY fault?

JL: Is it?

AH: You’re my boyfriend!

GL: Is it?

AH: You’re basically my brother?

HM: Is it?

AH:...

AH: Okay so it may of started because I was trying to figure out why someone as awesome as Theo is with A a r o n B u r r

JL: There it is

AH: He’s basic! You can’t say he isn’t basic!

HM: And you said it to his face???

AH: I mean

AH: Basically?

GL: Oh my god, you fucking a s s h o l e

JL: Alex

AH: What???

HM: Im so giving you the ‘Care bear stare’ 

AH: Why??????

JL: Jesus Alex

AH: WHY IS EVERYONE GANGING UP ON ME

JL: BECAUSE YOU GET WEIRD WHEN YOU THINK SOMEONE ISNT "OWNING UP TO THEIR POTENTIAL"

HM: BECAUSE YOU FUCJING HATE THE "BASIC LIFE" AND FUCKING JUDGED HIM HARD ABOUT HIS LIFE CHOICES 

GL: BECAUSE WE KNOW YOU PROBABLY WENT FULL ASSHOLE, ASSHOLE

AH: No I didn’t I

AH: Uh

HM: You did, didnt you

AH: ...Shit

* * *

JM: Aaron

AB: Madison

JM: I am aware that you and Theo have planned what one would call a ‘romantic evening’ for February Fourteenth. 

AB: I mean, I wouldn’t call it ‘romantic’ more like 

JM: Aaron, who helped you out with the past two courses?

JM: And, as my brother reminded me. 

JM: before Finals, my brother helped you out of that minor issue.

AB: I thought the tickets to the Book Tour was the favor in return.

JM: No, you decided playing House with Theo and the Bartows was more important than helping me. And so you sic’d Hamilton, who actually was helpful, surprisingly. 

JM: But he helped me, not you. 

JM: As such, I expect you to return the original favor for helping a Madison. 

AB: Excuse me?

JM: Thomas is expecting something ‘romantic’ for Valentine’s day and while I can easily make my own plans for him, I am somewhat busy with Family Concerns, that I am unable to...adequately plan and prepare for what he would desire. However, I also find that Thomas enjoys Theo’s company and would like to spend more time with her.

AB: Are

AB: Are you asking Thomas to crash our Valentine’s Day plans?

JM: Both of us, Burr. 

JM: I expect us to go on a double-date on Valentine’s Day. 

AB: Of course.

AB: One moment- tlaking with Theo.

JM: Burr. Don’t be sloppy- it’s ‘talking’ not “tlaking.’ Honestly Burr, you need to stop trying to lower yourself to Hamilton’s standards. 

AB: Right. Apologies. 

AB: One moment, please. 

* * *

AB: Hey

TB: Hey <3

AB: So I have somewhat of a petty favor to ask you.

TB: ?

TB: You...never go the petty route.

AB: Well, I’m feeling salty tonight.

TB: What’s wrong?

AB: James Madison, in his ‘All-Knowing’ Glory, ‘expects me’ to make plans for him and thomas to go on a double date with us on Valentine’s Day. 

TB: The fucking asshole!

TB: What does that douchwad think he is?

AB: A Madison. 

TB: Urgh. 

TB: You’re right. 

TB: I hate it but you're right

TB: So what do you want?

AB: You haven’t told Adrienne no, yet, have you?

TB: Oh my god, Aaron. 

TB: Are you sure? I don’t mind saying no, and I’m sure we could like, somehow foist Alexander onto them (I have a lot of dirt)

AB: No. I’m tired of Madison’s attitude and honestly

AB: I want to see that unshakable man actually be shook, for once. 

AB: Plus, you look amazing when you skate. 

TB: Awww, baby <3

AB: I love cheering for you. 

AB: Actually, I just love you. 

TB: Stopppp

TB: You’re making me blushhh

AB: <3

TB: <3

AB: So can I?

TB: Give ‘em salt, sweetie.

* * *

JM: Aaron Burr?

AB: Sorry about the lateness of my response. 

AB: It took some convincing, but Theo said yes.

AB: We had to change the plans, so the plan is to watch Theo skate for a bit, then go out to eat.

JM: Right, she did do ice skating back in middle school. You, Aaron, are truly whipped. 

AB: Yup. That’s me. Whipped. 

JM: Really? That’s it?

AB: There was maybe a bike ride in there. If you’re game.

JM: How quaint. Skating together and bicycle rides. 

AB: Oh I don’t skate, Theo does. I just watch. 

AB: But the biking we do together. 

AB: Honestly it’s a ‘regular Aaron and Theo date’

JM: Fine. Beggars can’t be choosers, I guess.

* * *

AH: Fuckkkkk

JL: Aaron still avoiding you, huh? 

GL: Le gasp

AH: I know I fucked up! 

HM: Well, at least you’re apologetic about it. 

AH: Actually, I have barely seen him.

AH: Like, even in courses. It’s like he’s turn invisible. 

GL: Damn, he’s really Burr-ing it up, huh

HM: Burr-ing it up?

JL: “Burr-ing”: To turn completely invisible to certain parties or individuals you are trying to avoid.

GL: There’s also “To Burr”: To give a neutral answer as you don’t want to seem to interested until you know what is the popular opinion. 

AH: He’s so fucking neutral. 

AH: And also not in his usual places, the fuck

GL: Have you tried the library?

AH: ye, no go. 

JL: Cafeteria

AH: No go

GM: The study spot in Building 7?

AH: No go

GL: Computer lab?

AH: No go

JL: Theo’s room?

AH: No go, though she wasn’t there either. 

AH: But no go for Angelica, Maria, Madison, Jefferson, the cafe near the pond, his usual restaurants, every study hall and room, even Barrett hasn’t seen him. 

AH: I even checked around the Medical Building to see if maybe he’s hiding in there

GL: Damn. And you hate that place

JL: To be fair, taking all the cold medicines and allergy medicines that the free clinics would give you, plus a fuck load of pure grade honey, having a major hallucination, puking, passing out for 10 hours and feeling fine afterwards is kind of a miracle. I don’t blame the students for wanting to study him. 

AH: I was sick! And I had a presentation the next day!

JL: Dude, you wrote a fucking bible because you “Saw a god with the many colored eyes”- like a literal, 178 page bible. It reads like a cult letter. 

AH: I was sick!

GL: Is this is when you drank all that Gatorade and Soy Sauce?

AH: I could barely speak without coughing! And yes

HM: How the fuck are you alive????

GL: I wonder myself every day.

HM: Alexander Hamilton: Yes, there is a god, this boi is still alive, isn’t he?

AH: I still stand by choices

GL: God help us. 

AH: ANYway, I’m going to go and try and figure out where the fuck is Burr, so I can apologize, and we can move on with our lives. 

JL: Now I’m curious where he’s hiding

* * *

TB: So

AB: ?

TB: You don't think I haven't noticed that you're avoiding Hamilton?

AB: I plead the fifth

TB: Aaron

AB: yes

TB: What happened with you and Alex?

AB: Nothing happened. I just realized that my time would be better suited than hanging out with Alexander Hamilton.

TB: The fact that it took you fifteen minutes to respond is a big fucking hint that something happened, Rin

AB: Theo, it's nothing

TB: Then why didn't you want to hang out with me? 

TB: Aaron, if you want space, I will gladly back off. But you've been acting like something is bugging you in the back of your mind, and 

TB: I'm worried, baby. 

TB: You just seem more distant, and haven’t really talked or texted anyone in the past could of days, and you never do that unless

TB: Rinny?

AB: Am I boring?

AB: Sorry, never mind, Ignore that 

TB: You're not boring

AB: oh 

TB: Afraid of change, sure, but not boring

AB: Wait, what?

TB: You don’t like new things. 

AB: I do

TB: I mean, once someone or me pushes you to try a new thing, sure, but you don’t go and try a new thing willingly. 

TB: I don’t think it’s ‘bad’ necessarily, but it can be a bit

AB: Constricting. 

TB: I wouldn’t say that

AB: Stagnant

AB: Passive

AB: Immobile

AB: Restricting

TB: Aaron. 

AB: Sorry. I just. 

AB: Sorry. 

TB: Do you want to go out? Maybe we can go to that Chinese Dumpling place you like? 

AB: I’m sorry Theo, I have some homework I need to finish. I love you, and how much you do for me. I’ll. 

AB: I’m sorry Theo. Love you. 

Theo: Love you too. 

* * *

TB: What the fuck did you do?

AH: Something assholeish and stupid

TB: What, like call him boring?

AH: I mean

TB: You called him boring??

AH: I just think you two are

TB: Are what?

TB: What “are” we, Hamilton? Please, illuminate me.

AH: A bit. Mismatched. 

TB: Excuse you? Mismatched?

AH: Not that word, technically?? But the subtext...yeahhhh. Technically, yes. In more words. 

TB: Listen to me, right now, Alexander Hamilton, stay out of my damn love life or, even if you're dating Eliza, I will shove a goddamn Pearl Centipede so far up your urethra , not even all the best damn surgeons could remove it I am a grow ass woman and I don’t need some douche nozzle like you sticking your goddamn dick in my business. 

AH: ... what's a Pearl Centipede?

TB: [picture sent]

AH: Jezi, ki see tèt chaje

TB: So don't fucking stick your dick in my business, and we'll be fine. And apologize to Aaron. 

AH: It. not just that. I mean, I will apologize to him once I can find him so I can apologize and once I find him but it's not just that

TB: What is it

AH: Aaron is brillant, and smart and actually can get shit done and yet he does Nothing about it! I know he as smart as me, and way more emotionally stable, and he could probably convince the Pope that he’s Lutheran, and he does Nothing about it! He just keeps quiet and watches and let’s opportunities pass by. Did you know that he’s the third in our Professional Responsibility Course? I’m first, Jefferson is second, and Burr is third. He can easily be second or first. But he doesn’t . He doesn’t take the extra credit, the extra effort and it’s insane!

TB: Did you even think that it’s because he has other things he deems important???

AH: I’m working two different degrees, have a side job as a proofreader, and in a polyamrous relationship with two different people. 

TB: It’s a not a fucking competition

TB: Aaron does things differently than you because he’s a fucking different person than you. 

AH: I fucking understand that

TB: Then what the fuck is the matter?

AH: He stops, Theo. Or he waits. Or he stops. He doesn't move, Theo. 

AH: As soon as he gets some amazing opportunity, or a better grade, or anything, he stops. I’ve seen him not speak up when I knew he knew the answer. He won’t say anything at all when John Fucking Adams acts like a douche meister to him. He has made himself sick because he has a mild allergy to cashews!

TB: He’s not allergic to cashews

AB: He’s fucking allergic to cashews! He gets allergy meds on the sly from either Barrett, Madison, or Franklin, though my money’s on Madison. Instead of, I don’t know, actually properly getting medications because I know he has the income to do so. 

TB: He’s not allergic to cashews, I’ve made several dishes with cashew butter! My family eats them all them time in meals...and

AB: And how often does he go to the bathroom or different room before or after he eats a cashew-laden dish?

TB: How the fuck are you so observant and yet so stupid?

AH: One I’m not stupid. Two I know Aaron. 

AH: I knew him since we sat in Orientation together and he gave me his “talk less smile more” speech which is bullshit but I know him and worked alongside him and he’s not fucking moving he’s jsut there. He’s just there there therereheretheretheretherethere

AH: Fuckther

TB: ????

TB: Alex?

* * *

ES: Hey.

TB: Hey, is Alex okay?

ES: He had a bit of a break. I think the argument with Aaron made his hypergraphia flare up a bit. 

ES: He’s currently writing in one of his journals. He’ll be fine. 

TB: Oh jesus. 

ES: you know. 

TB: Oh god, Liz, not you too. 

ES: No, no, I was going to say.

ES: Alex and Aaron have the strangest relationship I have ever met, and I think it really comes down to we both need to take a step back and not get mixed up. I know John and the others were mad at him because of what he did, and frankly, so am I. And I think a part of Alex is mad at himself also. 

TB: I. 

TB: I may of went off on him, I'm sorry, Eliza. 

ES: No, no, I get that. Alex isn't easy, not by a long shot, both romantically and platonically. 

TB: Yeah.

ES: Don't worry, I'm not upset, Theo. I know you're just worried about Aaron, right? He's barely interacted with all of us this past few weeks. 

TB: Did you know Aaron had a cashew allergy?

ES: He does?

TB: Yeah. I found his allergy medication.

ES: Wait, you broke into his dorm room?

TB: I mean, “broke into” is debatable. 

TB: The locks are really easy to jimmy with a hair pen and a credit card

ES: Theo!

TB: It’s just. 

TB: Why are boys stupid?

ES: I don’t know, but please tell me you aren’t still there, Theo. 

TB: I’m a Bartlow. 

TB: I covered my tracks and got out of there asap. 

ES: Oh thank god

ES: I’m going to check on Alex again. 

TB: Mm, I’m going to go find my boyfriend. 

TB: And see if he’s doing ok. 

ES: Yeah.

TB: I don’t like this, Eliza

ES: Me either. 

* * *

TB: Aaron

AB: [location sent]

AB: I apologize but.

AB: Theodosia. I'm not doing okay.

TB: I’m coming sweetie. 

* * *

TB: You’re going to be ok?

AB: Yes. Thank you.

TB: Are you going to be okay for tomorrow?

AB: Honestly, that’s what made these past two weeks bearable. 

AB: I can’t wait. 

TB: Same <3

TB: Oh! Do you know where I put my kit?

AB: Last time I saw it, it was under your bed.

AB: Skates are in your closet underneath I think a pair of pants.

AB: And your outfit is behind your puffy green coat. 

TB: Oh my god, where would I be without you?

AB: <3

AB: I left my jacket at your place, did I?

TB: Yup! I’ll bring it with me.

AB: Can’t wait. <3

TB: We’re going to freak out those two, arent we?

AB: And I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

* * *

TJ: Where are you?

JM: Almost ready. You eager for tonight?

TJ: I’m surprised you chose to do a double date

JM: I’m not in the wrong, am I?

TJ: Hm.

JM: Thomas.

TJ: Where u at???

JM: I’m heading to the car, stop telling the driver to lay on the horn.

* * *

TJ: James???

JM: Oh.

TJ: My god. 

JM: This is not what I was expecting a ‘regular Aaron and Theo date.’

TJ: So many lesbians

TJ: Like. So many l e s b i a n s. I have never seen this many. This is kind of cool. And terrifying. I can’t believe we’re at a roller derby!

TJ: Wait where did you go?

JM: Be right back, I’m fighting your honor with this cretin with arm wrestling. She insulted you and Like Hell Am I Letting Her Get Away With It. 

TJ: Hot

TJ: Wait

TJ: James, she had biceps the size of your head

TJ: James

TJ: JAMES

TJ: Oh my god 

* * *

TJ: MY BOYFRIEND IS A MORON

JL: How did you get my number???????

* * *

TJ: HOE

AH: Tf? I thought you lost my number?

TJ: Like I actually would. I know I’m still in your phone

AH: The fuck do you want?

TJ: Oh right. 

TJ: FUCKING AARON BURR IS A FUCKING COOL RACE GOD

AH: WHAT

TJ: LIKE BIKE RACE. LIKE WITH FUCKING MOTORCYCLES AND SHIT

TJ: HES CALLED SILENT IRON 

AH: WHAT THE FUCK

AH: THATS ACTUALLY COOL?????

AH: WHAT THE FUCK

TJ YOU FUCKING TELL ME

TJ: SO FIRST OF ALL THEO DOES ROLLER DERBY WHICH IS AMAZING AS SHIT AND SHES ON THIS TEAM CALLED THE CURB KING STOMPERS AND WHICH SHE CALLED ARTEMIS TOMBS AND LIKE SHES A JAMMER AND AARON OWNS A GIANT FUCKING SIGN WITH HER NAME IN GLITTER HEARTS AND A GODDAMN FAN SHIRT. HER TEAM WON BTW

TJ: AND THEN WE WENT TO THIS FUCK NOWHERE PLACE FILLED WITH BIKERS AND PUNKS AND OTHER RANDOS

TJ: I WAS FREAKING THE FUCK OUT

TJ: AND HERE COMES THEO AND AARON MTFCKING SURPRISES BURR

TJ: WEARING MATCHING JACKETS THAT THEY PULLED FROM THE SKY

TJ: BECAUSE 

TJ: HIM AND THEO HAVING THIS FUCKING STANDING DATE WHERE THEY COMPETE AND SHIT AND HES ACTUALLY DECENT ON A HARLEY WHAT THE FUCK

TJ: ALSO THEO IS IN A ROLLER DERBY TEAM

TJ: WHICH SHOULD OF BEEN OBVIOUS BUT FUCK

TJ: AARON WAS A FUCKING BOLT OF LIGHTING ZIPPING AROUND THE TRACK AND HE JUST MESHES WITH EVERYONE ELSE AND LIKE

TJ: HE GOT OFF THE BIKE AND JUST PULLED OFF THE HELMET AND

TJ: LOOKED REALLY FUCKING COOL????

TJ: WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT HE WAS BORING

AH: SHIT SO DID I

AH: QUE CARAJO ESTA PASANDO???

TJ: IM FUCKING SURPIRSED AS YOU ALL LIKE SHIT I JUST WATCHED IT AND IT WAS LIKE I WAS HAVING AN OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE

TJ: MEANWHILE, MY BOYFRIEND THROWN BY A BUTCH INTO A TABLE AND FACEPLANTED INTO THE MUD LIKE A ASSHOLE

TJ: BUT I GOT PICTURES SO ITS ALL GOOD HES FINE IM JUST GOING TO LORD IT OVER HIM FOR ETERNITY. 

TJ: IM JUST AMAZED

TJ: I HAVE PICTURES

TJ: [image sent] [image sent] [image sent]

TJ: [image sent] [image sent] [image sent]

TJ: [image sent] [image sent]

AH: Oh. My God. 

TJ: IKNOWRIGHT????

TJ: I GOTTA GO AND TELL E V E R Y O N E

AH: what the fuck

* * *

AH: AARON IS COOL

HM: What?

AH: [image sent] [image sent] 

GL: HOLY SHIT AARON LOOKS HOT

JL: That’s your takeaway?

GL: ngl I would gladly let him get my courtroom out of order

HM: Why

JL: That doesn’t make sense

AH: No, it does, it’s just a terrible joke. F for ‘Failure of a joke’, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

GL: Vraiment, connard

AH: Appeler Comme je le vois

JL: Y’all

AH: Right 

AH: AARON IS COOL

JL: This is a surprise

GL: Consider my wig, snatched. 

HM: Uh, I technically knew this?

AH: WHAT

JL: WHAT

GL: WHAT

HM: Y’all, I made those jackets. 

HM: AND Aaron’s shirt.

JL: Oh yeah, it does look like your work

GL: I couldn’t tell- you have improved so much!

HM: Thank you!

JL: Even still, it’s pretty awesome work!

HM: Thank you! Trust me, working with leather was TERRIFYING

HM: But I’m glad. 

HM: The stitching is a little wonky so I’ve had to repair it since then, but the leather is actually faux leather, and it moves just so well. Plus, the lining was a bitch to get it right, not including the pockets. 

HM: My god they were beasts to complete, but I am so proud of my faux leather babies. 

GL: Really, this is giving me ideas…

HM: Oh my god, Laf, I have so MANY commissions already

GL: Yes, yes I’m aware, I’m helping you with your books. 

GL: Along with Alex

JL: Actually, where is Alex?

GL:? He’s not with you?

JL: I thought he was heading over to see Hercules

HM: I’m here with Laf, and we haven’t seen him. 

JL: Bets and I are hanging out at her dorm and we haven’t seen him either. 

JL: Ale?

HM: Alex?

GL: Where are you?

* * *

TB: So that was fun. 

AB: It was

AB: Seeing James Madison taken down a peg was as satisfying as I expected. 

TB: It was

TB: Oh my god, he tried and fight Kristy

AB: That woman has biceps the size of my head

TB: I know

TB: He lost

AB: Please tell me there’s pictures

TB: [picture sent]

AB: lol

TB: Hey Aaron, why haven’t you talked to Alex?

TB: I’m pretty sure he’s apologetic. 

  
  


TB: Aaron it’s been nearly a half an hour. You just need to listen to each other. 

AB: But Hamilton doesn't hesitate with his ideas or his mouth, he takes everything at face value, he just takes and he takes. And yet he still wins! Every time. 

TB: You know that isn't true.

TB: You know that isn't true. 

TB: Aaron maybe

TB: Maybe you need to tell Alex. What you feel?

AB: Or

TB: Aaron

AB: I don't and continue to ignore him

TB: Aaron you're miserable without him 

AB: No I'm not

TB: Really. 

TB: So you aren't in your dorm, listening to your "Alex made me sad again" playlist and while staring at the ceiling instead of hanging out with your girlfriend and having a good time on post-Valentine’s day?

AB: I don’t

TB: You totally do have an “Alex made me sad again” playlist. I have Spotify open right now on my computer, with your account. Do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? 

AB: I love you. 

TB: I know you do but you're miserable without him. 

AB: Well, it's not like he misses me. 

TB: Currently Alex is apparently acting a lot like you, as both Eliza and John has texted me. 

TB: Plus he's been looking for you to apologize since you blocked him. 

AB: Well. That's a surprise.

TB: Aaron. 

TB: Tell him 

AB: I will. 

TB: Great. Let me know tonight afterwards.

TB: Send him the link first. 

AB: Tonight?!

TB: No time like the present

AB: he's probably not even awake

TB: You're kidding right?

TB: Alexander Hamilton, the Nonstop King?

AB: I just

TB: he likes you, Aaron. He really does. He's from a different world though, so he won't understand if you don't explain it to him.

TB: Alex has done a lot of fucked up things, but he does try and help his friends. I know he would listen. 

TB: And I promised if he hurts you again, I would shove a urethral sound so far up his own urethra that it couldn't be surgically removed. 

AB: Jesus, that is terrifying. But I do appreciate that.

TB: I love you, and…maybe it's time. To open up? And tell Alex why you exhibit restraint. 

AB: Or, hear me out: Compartmentalizing. 

TB: Aaron.

AB: Fine. I

AB: Alright.

* * *

AB: Hamilton

AH: So you finally unblocked me? Lol

AB: Shut up and read.

AB: [link sent]

AH: It’s an article about the library getting its name? The Esther Edwards Library? It’s just how Esther Edwards was an alumnus of the college and like, her life

AH: Oh

AB: So you got to the end. 

AB: Yeah. She was my mom.

AB: Dad was the President of the College, and mom help create like several search engines and had some patents for some inventions of her. He was like, the second youngest person to become President, after the founder. Mom named one of her research engines after dad, which is currently in use at the Library of Congress. Not to mention the various awards and accolades they received over the years. 

AH: Holy shit. 

AB: It was. A lot when I was growing up. 

AB: I'm grateful for them, I am. I just

AB: There were events and parties and meetings and work and I was mature for my age so I just got. Used to being alone and knowing that they expecting everything a certain way. 

AH: a certain way? 

AB: You have to understand

AB: my mother was a genius, and she expected me to be as well. And my father commanded respect from everyone, while expecting me to do the same. So, they were disappointed when I would fail my expectations they had for me, I know I wasn't smart, because I kept failing them, but eventually I got it. I knew by the age of eight how to dress, how to act, I knew what meals to make that my parents wanted me to eat, I knew how to keep the house clean, but not too clean for the maid, I knew what to say and how to say anything to my parents, and their friends. If I was good and obeyed, they let me spend time with them.

AH: and if you didn't?

AB: don't be so dark, Alex, they only just left me behind in the house because I couldn't control myself when I was being a selfish brat. 

AH: Alone?

AB: I had a maid.

AH: was it the same one?

AB: Well. No. It was a service, so it usually wasn't the same maid. And they had other houses to clean after ours, and I had been taking care of myself for a long time beforehand. I was allowed to be by myself in the house by the time I was five. I was a pretty mature child by then. 

AH: I see. Please continue, Aaron. 

AB: I know...it sounds bad. They loved me, really. They just were busy and had work and just wanted me to be the best me I could be. And they wanted me in Academics, I was going to either be a Dean at this college, or work under my mother at her research facility. That is what I expected of my life. They told me they were proud of me every time I did the right thing. They told me they loved me. They wanted me to work with them, they wanted nothing else than that. They loved me and wanted the best for me, and I was happy. 

AB: And then they died when I was seventeen. 

AH: I thought they died earlier?

AB: No, that was my grandparents- maternal, not paternal. 

AB: Alex, I was just. I knew the game Alex, I knew how to act and speak and think and all of a sudden the board is wiped clean and I'm left in a different game and different rules and expectations with only a legacy I have to protect and money. Which may seem like I got the better deal but.

AB: I don't know how to play. Every move seems like the wrong move and 

AB: I don't know the game anymore. I'm watching and waiting to try and figure it out. 

AH: Life isn't a game, Aaron. It's...life

AH: I have another question I want to ask

AB: Yes?

AH: What about your friends? What did they say, or do, when you parents died? 

AB: Ah, they were sympathetic when I came back to school.

AH: They didn't visit you?

AB: ah, no. I had friends- they weren't the clingy type, really. We ate lunch together and had some classes together, and sometimes a group of us would go out for school related events. 

AH: Aaron, those are classmates. 

AH: Who did you call? Who visited you when you parents died? 

AH: ...did anyone?

AB: Some of my parents family friends helped with the liquidation of the house and fulfilling the will. And helped me complete my application for this school, and the scholarship. 

AH: But your friends, what about them?

AB: I'm not like you, Alexander. I don't need friends. I get it, I'm not what people expect Theo to like, but she chose me, out of every suitor she had. She could have ignored me, and she chose me. I'm not like you, I don't need a boyfriend and a girlfriend to complete me, or friends, or Washington, or anyone but myself. I am my own person, alright? I am not a clone, or some "basic boyfriend" I'm a fucking original person and I need you to understand where I'm coming from because

AH: I'm sorry for hurting you. 

AB:...yes

AH: I'm sorry for being an asshole. And I was. A major asshole.

AB: yes

AH: You're not a basic boyfriend, Aaron. You are completely original, completely genuine

AB: yes

AH: And I'm really sorry for hurting you like I did. You were right to block me

AB: yes

AH: Also can you let me into your dorm? I'm on the tree branch looking in. And maybe we can actually talk in person than text it out. 

AB: yes

* * *

AH: Aaron unblocked me

AH: And yes, I apologized

GL: Good

JL: Thank god 

HM: Finally

AH: so am I forgiven?

HM: I think that's in Aaron's ball court

AH: No, I mean with you guys

AH: I really didn't like it when you guys ganged up on me.

AH: And sure, you were trying to show me how much of a douche I was but it still felt shitty. 

JL: We're sorry Alex. And yes, you're forgiven. 

HM: Totally. We definitely shouldn't of ganged up on you like us, and you're definitely forgiven

GL: I'm hugging you right now

JL: running to join you

HM: Third

AH: oh my God you all are running so fast omg what are

  
  


AH: I'm so glad you're my best friends

JL: gayyyy

JL: <3

HM: <3

GL: <3

AH: <3

AH: Now get off me I'm dying 

GL: Never. 

* * *

AB: Hey Alex

AB: We're best friends, right? 

AH: Yes 

AH: Does that mean I get to go to one of your races?

AB: Take me out to dinner and we’ll talk.

AH: I.

**Author's Note:**

> So Theo quotes someone from a certain media. 10 points if you can guess which one is it, and where's it from. 
> 
> Also I have totally done what Alex has done and while I didn't write a Bible, I did accidentally gave myself a Robitussin trip and that was. Not Fun. -10000/10 Do Not Do. 
> 
> Do y'all remember when I said that the Jefferson family and the Madison family don't actually get along? No? Because I do. And while Thomas and James are dating, doesn't mean Jefferson stopped being Jefferson, Oh N o. :D 
> 
> Sandbach is named after Samuel Sandbach, who I just found on wikipedia and was like “yeah sure.” Wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samuel_Sandbach
> 
> Mother Clap, while it’s the name of a gay dive bar in the story, was an actual person. Her name was Margaret Clap, who ran a coffee shop that was an underground homosexual tavern around 1724 around the London area. I’ve attached the wiki link so you can read about this cool lady. Wiki link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Margaret_Clap
> 
> ALSO. IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH, DO NOT LOOK UP PEARL CENTIPEDE, I REPEAT, DO NOT LOOK UP PEARL CENTIPEDE. It's a type of urethral sound and, well, ignorance can be bliss. 
> 
> Oh, I chose the roller derby name from a generator, and the team name is from a friend of mine. Also, the Spanish should be a legit, but the French and Creole (yes Alex is speaking Creole with Theo) is Google translate. So. How actually accurate are the phrases are debatable. 
> 
> This kind of came on suddenly but hopefully I have one that's funny and not just about Alex being an asshole. 
> 
> Anyways. 
> 
> I love all of your comments and kudos and even if you don't you're wonderful for even reading a strange man's ramblings. If you're curious more about this strange, mad verse, comment, or check my profile for my email.


End file.
